Motherhood can be isolating and lonely. I will walk you through how to find a Christian community in motherhood.
I know we have all had that one moment in motherhood where we felt so lonely. It most likely happened in the little years of our children. Maybe when you were up in the middle of the night nursing for the 3rd time, or when your husband is leaving for work. You have that feeling in your soul of longing for connection with anyone who can have a real conversation. I think the feeling of loneliness can especially impact a Christian stay-at-home mom because we do not have that work community like others do. I want to let you know that you can have those connections. In fact, it is so important to be connected with adults as you go through parenthood. It helps you to be a better wife, mom, and follower of Jesus.
We Need a Villiage
Motherhood is a sacred calling. It is a very important role and task and we are not meant to do it alone. Motherhood is a ministry and we must be diligent. God gave us children, and we are expected to do the best we can to take care of these littles and raise them to know the truth of the gospel. We are not meant to do it alone. God calls us to be in community with each other. We need other trusted Christians pouring into our lives, but also the lives of our children. The good news is, we can find community when we intentionally look for it! We will look at the word of God to see what God says about community so we know what we are looking for when finding a community. Then I will discuss why community is so important and how to find a Christian community in motherhood!
The Bible and Community
We will look at a few parts of God’s word to see what it says about community. Spoiler alert: It says so much that I could write pages! Instead, let’s highlight a few essential aspects of community that the bible talks to us about.
Community is God’s design
Genesis 2:1, God is looking at Adam and says it is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.
God starts the earth by making community. Even God knows that life is not meant to do alone. God knew that Adam was going to feel lonely and it would benefit him to have a helper.
God is with us in community
Matthew 18:20, For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
James 5:16, Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
When two or more believers gather, Christ will hear their prayers and grant them their desires. However, these desires must line up with God’s will, not their own. Believers must be filled with the Holy Spirit. God is there when people are gathered in His name. We learn from one another with God’s presence over us; I don’t think it can get much better than that! Christian mothers in particular need to be connected with other like-minded moms. We need support and prayers all throughout every aspect of motherhood. Our prayers do matter and they are effective.
We grow in community
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
We can not grow or become sharper if we are by ourselves. It is impossible to grow when you are isolated. When we are together with one another, we teach each other and learn from one another. It is so important to keep growing as a person, Christian, wife, and mom. We become better every day with the knowledge of someone else. We know we can ask our community the hard questions and they will answer us with truth out of love. I love talking with people in my community who are farther along than I am in motherhood and their faith journey because I can learn from them. Without one another, we would become dull and stagnant.
Community fulfills the Law of Christ-
Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ
By loving one another, we are fulfilling God’s law. We love our community through hardships, life’s difficulties but also through celebratory times. We are truly loving them by holding each other accountable to the Bible.
Why is it Important to Find a Christian Community in Motherhood
Looking specifically at motherhood, we can not do it alone! We need community to lift us up, hold us accountable to the word of God and sharpen us. I joined a wonderful small group when I was about 20 weeks pregnant. It was the best thing for my motherhood because there were other ladies in the same stage of life that I was in. They are my support when I have questions. They support me when I say that it is hard. It helps to have someone understand exactly what you are going through. Motherhood is no simple task. We need all of the emotional, physical, and emotional support that we need. We also need our community to pour into our children. So how exactly do you find your community?
How to Find a Christian Community in Motherhood!
As moms in general, it is hard to find community. We are always busy and making friends as an adult is hard! It is even more difficult to find other Christian moms in the same area of life as us. I have a few different ways how to find your perfect community to lift you up, support you, and hold you accountable to God’s words.
The Church
The best place to start is obviously the church! I have found a couple of friends from my child’s nursery. At drop off and pick up, say hi to a few moms. Over some time, put yourself out there by handing them your number to meet up. It is okay if they do not reach out. Do not get discouraged, God wants community for His people and he will lead you to the right ones! The bonus about meeting friends this way is that your kids will likely be friends too since they are in the same class every Sunday morning!
Through the Church
Ask one of your church leaders about their programs! They work hard to keep them going so they want to make it useful to their community! Ask if they have a list of small groups meeting near you or when their next bible study is. They will be happy to share that information with you!
Small groups are groups that meet at a home, or alternate houses during the week. These groups are made up of a few families who attend that church. Normally they will study scripture or a bible study. I love our small group because it feels like a little family with the same values.
Bible studies are very similar, but they can be at your church. Sometimes churches will run a bible study for a certain number of weeks. You may be able to meet some other church members there!
Prayer
Lastly, pray about it. Community is part of God’s plan. He is our heavenly Father who wants us to grow and mature in our faith and we need community to do that. With praying though, you must be ready to take the action steps needed. You need to put yourself out there and be friendly, no one is going to come knocking on your door after you pray. Trust God and take steps of faith.
Encouragement for Christian Moms
It is so critical that we have friends to teach us, guide us, and encourage us to be the best wife, mother, and follower of Jesus. We grow exponentially when we are part of a community of like-minded individuals. Not only are they there emotionally and spiritually, but they are also there when we need physical help like making meals, watching our kids, or helping out. We are not meant to go through motherhood lonely and isolated. We need support from outside families. I want to encourage you, if you are lonely and would love community, to go seek it. Pray about it and then put yourself forward in order to find that community. Make community one of your daily routines! You are not alone!
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